NOTE:
As might well be observed in everything about the English character, the ribaldry of spelling inherent in their language too is true to form. Just read the outrageously dyslexic examples of SpellingBee tricks below … And what is so touching about it all is that their dear cousins in America seem to simply love every bit of it too!
Sudarshan Madabushi
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
4. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
7. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n: The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Negligent, adj: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
4. Lymph, v: To walk with a lisp.
5. Testicle, n: A humorous question on an exam.
6. Rectitude, n: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.