
The reason why the Sanskrit word, “kaarpanya dosham’s” rather overly facile or simplistic translations into English as either “depression“, “despair“, “moral confusion“, “disconnectedness from reality” or “feebleness of mind” … etc. are all very fine but never fully accurate or wholly satisfying — is a very subtle, theological one.
St. John of the Cross made a very careful distinction between two very similar yet distinctive mental states of Depression. One he called “Acedia“; and the other he denoted it with a metaphor, “dark night of the soul“. In natural theology, spiritual seekers belonging to all religious traditions of the world, many a time succumb to either one or the other. Arjuna at Kurukshetra was certainly a case in point.
The “Dark Night of the Soul” is a metaphorical expression that describes an intense, often painful, and transformative spiritual experience. The phrase refers to profound spiritual crisis, where an individual experiences:
– A deep sense of loss, emptiness, or despair
– A feeling of being disconnected from one’s faith, spirituality, or sense of purpose
– Intense self-doubt, fear, or uncertainty
– A sense of being in a spiritual wilderness, unable to find guidance or solace
It is true Arjuna experienced all of the above feelings but they were symptomatic of not just an emotional or a psychological state of imbalance, but a spiritual one. As Bhagavan Sri Krishna began delivering the Bhagavath-Gita, and as one chapter (“adhyaaya“) led to eighteen other soul-stirring ones, it was Arjuna’s spirit that began undergoing a slow but profound transformation, where his old beliefs, habits, and attachments were stripped away by Krishna, one by one, layer by layer, making room for his experiencing new growth and spiritual awakening. Aruna’s ego, mental limitations and illusions were confronted, and finally he was forced to surrender to Krishna, letting go of his old self, and embracing a new, deeper level of spiritual awareness. This experience of transformation, in the final 18th Chapter, was openly acknowledged by Arjuna himself:
अर्जुन उवाच |
नष्टो मोह: स्मृतिर्लब्धा त्वत्प्रसादान्मयाच्युत |
स्थितोऽस्मि गतसन्देह: करिष्ये वचनं तव || 18.73||
arjuna uvācha:
naṣhṭo mohaḥ smṛitir labdhā tvat-prasādān mayāchyuta
sthito ‘smi gata-sandehaḥ kariṣhye vachanaṁ tava
Arjun said: Krishna, by Your grace, my illusions have been dispelled; I am now free from doubts; and I am situated in certitude. I shall act according to your guidance.
The interesting question to now ask ourselves is this: Was Arjuna experiencing Acedia or Dark Night?
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In his works on Christian theology, St. John of the Cross explained the difference between the two mental states of Acedia and Dark Night as arising from the either the presence or absence of Desire for Pleasure in the human heart. In Vedantic theology, Desire is referred to in its very broadest sense as “kaama” (Sanskrit) or “inbam” (Tamil).
The first sign of the Dark Night is that neither the things of God nor the things of the world bring any Pleasure. In contrast, however, someone caught in acedia may find no satisfaction in the things of God but will likely still find pleasures in life more generally. Dissatisfaction in spiritual things is typical of dark night. But in an experience of dark night, a believer is troubled by a fear that distaste for the things of God represents a turning away from him.
The acedic person, however, does not turn towards God. Instead, they turn further away, indicating that desire for him has succumbed to sadness and despair about the possibility of movement towards him. Eventually, if there is no intervention, what was only venial acedia will become mortal. At this point, desire for God has so reduced so much as to become fully inverted. In fact, desire for God becomes, instead, its opposite: an aversion for God to which the believer’s will has consented.
Desire, or Vedantic “kaama“, thus then really makes all the difference.
Desire is the diagnostic by which spiritual mentors like Sri Krishna in the Bhagavath-Gita can differentiate between Arjuna’s faithless passivity of acedia and the faithful passivity of dark night. The person experiencing dark night may be less positive about the things of the world, betraying perhaps a felt emptiness and certainly an awareness that these good things cannot distract them entirely from their longing for the God whose presence seems more like absence.
Arjuna was a broken, demoralised man on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. He had wholly abandoned all hope. His will was crushed. But we find in the Bhagavath-Gita that he still retained a weak albeit desperate Desire to seek spiritual counsel. He openly sought solace from his friend and charioteer. Thus, Arjuna did not turn away from Sri Krishna; he turned to him, in his moment of crisis.
In terms of natural theology, Arjuna could be said thus to have been afflicted by “Dark Night” … and not really “Acedia“.
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In the literature and history of Vedanta, there were many saints and mystics who were deeply aware of both mental states, “Acedia” and “Dark Night of the soul“. They viewed Acedia also as “spiritual torpor” or “spiritual lethargy“.
Ramana Maharshi described Acedia as a state of “spiritual lethargy” and “mental inertia”, where the mind is unable to focus on spiritual pursuits and feels disconnected from the divine. He advised seekers and disciples to overcome Acedia by cultivating self-inquiry, meditation, and devotion.
The Indian poet and saint, Kabir, wrote about Acedia in his poems, describing it as a state of “spiritual sleep” and “the wilful slumber of ignorance” that separates us from the divine. He advised seekers to overcome Acedia by cultivating devotion, love, and a sense of deep longing for the divine … i.e. “kaama” as a “purushaartha“.
– “माया की नींद में सोया है, जीव भूल गया अपना घर”
(“The soul has fallen asleep in the slumber of Maya, and forgotten its true home“)
– “अलस की नींद में सोया है, जीव को नहीं होश”
(“The soul is asleep in the slumber of laziness, and has lost all awareness“)
– “जगत में भटकता है, जीव अपना मूल नहीं जानता”
(“The soul wanders in the world, unaware of its true nature”)
These verses describe Acedia as a state of spiritual sleep, ignorance, and disconnection from one’s true nature. Kabir’s poetry often emphasizes the need to awaken from this state and cultivate a deeper sense of awareness and devotion.
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Sri Andaal Piraatti, our great Tamil saint-poetess (Azhwar) of Sri Villiputtur, too was obviously quite aware of the mental state of Acedia, and yes, Dark Night too. In her immortal Tamil devotional classic verses of the Tiruppaavai, the theme of “spiritual lethargy” and “spiritual sleep” is alluded to in several exquisite “paasuram–s”.
Acedia in the Tiruppaavai is described in very dramatic, endearingly balladic metaphors — the “aayarpaadi” cowmaidens of bucolic Sri Villiputtur.
The hero of the Tiruppaavai, Andal “naachiyaar” herself, in the early hours of dawn in the freezing wintry month of “Maargazhi” goes from door to door in her village, and tries to “awaken” her fellow cowmaidens who in their homes and beds are cozied and curled up in bed. They are in deep slumber and they adamantly refuse to wake up and join her in the ritual bath and ablutions (“maarghazi neeraada podhuveer podhimino....”) preparatory to the offer of loving worship to God.
The Tiruppaavai Verses 6 through 16 evoke the image of all spiritual seekers of the world who are “asleep“, lethargic and “acedic” in spiritual torpor. The following are those beautiful verses (in the Tamil original, without English translation) through which Andaal beseeches them to shed their “acedia” and rise in life to cultivate bhakthi:
“புள்ளும் சிலம்பின காண் புள்ளரையன் கோயிலில்
வெள்ளை விளிசங்கின் பேரரவம் கேட்டிலையோ?“
அன்புத்தோழியே! நீ உடனே எழுந்திரு! பறவைகள் அதிகாலையில் எழுந்து கீச்சிடும் இனிய ஒலி இன்னும் கேட்கவில்லையா? கருடனை வாகனமாகக் கொண்ட எம்பிரானின் கோயிலில் வெள்ளை நிற சங்குகள் எழுப்பும் முழக்கம் காதில் விழவில்லையா?
“கீசுகீசு என்றெங்கும் ஆனைச்சாத்தன் கலந்து
பேசின பேச்சரவம் கேட்டிலையோ? பேய்ப்பெண்ணே! காசும் பிறப்பும் கலகலப்பக் கைபேர்த்து
வாச நறுங்குழல் ஆய்ச்சியர் மத்தினால்
ஓசை படுத்த தயிர் அரவம் கேட்டிலையோ?“
அறிவில்லாதவளே! ஆனைச்சாத்தன் என்றழைக்கப்படும் வலியன்குருவிகள் கீச்சிடும் குரலும், அவை தங்கள் துணையுடன் பேசும் ஒலியும் உனக்கு கேட்கவில்லையா? வாசனை மிக்க கூந்தலை உடைய ஆய்க்குலப் பெண்கள் மத்து கொண்டு தயிர் கடையும் ஓசையும், அப்போது அவர்களது கழுத்தில் அணிந்துள்ள அச்சுத்தாலியும், ஆமைத்தாலியும் இணைந்து ஒலியெழுப்புவது இன்னுமா கேட்கவில்லை?
“மாமீர்! அவளை எழுப்பீரோ? உன்மகள் தான்
ஊமையோ அன்றிச் செவிடோ, அனந்தலோ?
ஏமப்பெருந்துயில் மந்திரப்பட்டாளோ?“
எங்கள் அன்பு மாமியே! அவளை நீ எழுப்பு. உன் மகளை எத்தனை நேரமாக நாங்கள் கூவி அழைக்கிறோம்! அவள் பதிலே சொல்லவில்லையே! அவள் ஊமையா? செவிடா? சோம்பல் அவளை ஆட்கொண்டு விட்டதா? அல்லது எழ முடியாதபடி ஏதாவது மந்திரத்தில் சிக்கி விட்டாளா? உடனே எழு!
“சிற்றாதே பேசாதே செல்வப்பெண்டாட்டி! நீ
எற்றுக்கு உறங்கும் பொருளேலோர் எம்பாவாய்.“
செல்வத்தையும், பெண்மையையும் புனிதமாய் காப்பவளே! இதையெல்லாம் கேட்டும் அசையாமலும், பேசாமலும் உறங்கிக் கொண்டிருக்கிறாயே! அர்த்தமற்ற இந்த உறக்கத்தினால் உனக்கு என்ன பலன் கிடைக்கப் போகிறது?
“மனத்துக்கு இனியானைப் பாடவும் நீ வாய்திறவாய்
இனித்தான் எழுந்திராய் ஈதென்ன பேருறக்கம்!
அனைத்தில்லத் தாரும் அறிந்தேலோர் எம்பாவாய்.“
அந்த நாராயணனின் பெருமையைப் பாடுகிறோம். நீயோ, இன்னும் பேசாமல் இருக்கிறாய். எல்லா வீடுகளிலும் அனைவரும் எழுந்து விட்ட பிறகும், உனக்கு மட்டும் ஏன் பேருறக்கம்?
“குள்ளக் குளிரக் குடைந்துநீர் ஆடாதே
பள்ளிக்கிடத்தியோ! பாவாய்! நீ நன்னாளால்
கள்ளம் தவிர்ந்து கலந்தேலோர் எம்பாவாய்.“
குளிர்ந்த நீரில் நீச்சலடித்து குளிக்க வராமல் என்ன செய்கிறாய்? அந்தக் கண்ணனை நினைக்கும் ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் நன்னாளே! மார்கழியில் அவனை நினைப்பது இன்னும் சிறப்பல்லவா? எனவே, தூக்கம் என்கிற திருட்டை தவிர்த்து எங்களுடன் நீராட வா.
“எல்லே இளங்கிளியே! இன்னும் உறங்குதியோ!
சில்லென்று அழையேன்மின் நங்கைமீர்!“
ஏலே என் தோழியே! இளமைக் கிளியே! நாங்களெல்லாம் உனக்காக இவ்வளவு நேரம் காத்திருந்தும், இப்படியெல்லாம் அழைத்தும் உறங்குகிறாயே? என்று சற்று கடுமையாகவே தோழிகள் அவளை அழைத்தனர்.
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Through the above verses of the Tiruppaavai, we are are enabled to derive a deeper understanding of Acedia.
An acedic person will tend to begin to wander from prayer. He or she — like the “aayarpaadi” cowmaidens — will likely follow the distractions of the self and of the world rather than persevere in the quiet work of waiting before God … (“yaamvandha kaariyam aaraaindhu…“)….
The spiritual seeker who is undergoing a passive dark night will be more likely, however, to be struggling on in prayer, notwithstanding that it is getting less and less satisfying … and far less like any kind of prayer they ever perhaps experienced previously. Although they may begin to silently question within themselves the value of remaining in prayer, the stubborn seeker will not give up the habit of praying, choosing instead to stay open for God’s Grace (“arul“). This, in the Tiruppaavai, remaining in persevering prayer is the real hard evidence of Desire... “kaama“…. Which is truly what is at the core of the central idea of the whole hymn:
“…. எற்றைக்கும் ஏழேழ் பிறவிக்கும் உன்தன்னோடு
உற்றோமே யாவோம் உனக்கேநாம் ஆட்செய்வோம்
மற்றை நம் காமங்கள் மாற்றேலோர் எம்பாவாய்….”
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The path of spiritual quest ultimately consists of nothing else really but dogged theological effort expressed so poignantly in the poetic words of an obscure Christian prayer:
“For the soul whose weariness is acedia: wait. And thus will you remedy your sin.
For the soul whose weariness is dark night: you, also, wait. And thus will his brightness come to you.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
Wait.
For you, dear friend, don’t know where you are. Whether this darkness is your sin or his grace. Whether you have started acedia’s choice not to continue with him. Whether you have resisted and continue still this friendship in darkness. You do not know where you are.
But, for remedy, it matters not.
Whatever sad, weary heart’s cause: even so, now, just wait.
Wait in the faith with which watchmen look for the morning. Wait, still, with calmed and quietened heart, weaned child with its mother.
Wait.
Just wait. And again he will renew your strength”.
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“Waiting” even when afflicted by the Acedic mood is spiritual “saadhana” … extraordinary effort of the human will.
In the Srimad Valmiki Ramayana, the old tribal lady in the dark forests of Chitrakoot, Sabari, spent years and years doing nothing but simply wait for Sri Rama and Sita to come by her doorsteps and grant her salvation. If Sabari had given way to Acedia, and given up “waiting“, who knows if her impatience and lethargy might just have deprived her of Divine Grace?
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The Acedic waiting for Divine Grace is often experienced as a very solitary preoccupation in life. Which is why it often crushes our spirit …. just as on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, it crushed Arjuna’s spirit. But the loneliness of “waiting” should not deter us from hope for no matter what happens, in the end, there will always be Sabari’s moksha available to one and all as inspiration.
Rabindranath Tagore, famous Bengali song “Ekla chalo re!” sums up the pain, the agony and ecstasy of the spiritual experience we call “Acedic waiting” …
जोदी तोर डाक सुने केउ ना आसे
तोबे एकला चलो रे,
एकला चलो, एकला चलो,
एकला चलो रे,
जोदी तोर डाक सुने केउ ना आसे
तोबे एकला चलो रे ।
Jodi tor dak sune keu na ashe,
Tobe ekla cholo, ekla chalo, aekla chalo re,
Aikla cholo re,
If no one answers your call,
Then walk alone,
(be not afraid) walk alone my friend.
Jodi kue kotha na koe,
ore o re o obaghaga, keu kotha na koe
Jodi sobai thake muhk phirae , sobai kore bhoye,
Tobe poran khule,
O tui, mukh phute tor moner kotha,
Ekla bolo re
If no one talks to you,
O my unlucky friend, if no one speaks to you,
If everyone looks the other way and everyone is afraid,
Then bare your soul and let out what is in your mind,
(be not afraid) Speak alone my friend.
Jab kali ghata chaye,
Ore o re o andhera sach ko nigal jaye
Jab duniya sari, dar ke age sar apna jhukaye,
Tu shola banja, Wo shola banja, Jo khud jal ke jahan raushan karde,
Ekla jalo re.
When dark clouds cover the sky, When darkness engulfs the truth,
When the world cowers and bows before fear,
You be the flame, The flame that burns you and banishes darkness from the world,
(be not afraid) Burn alone my friend.
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(CONCLUDED)
Sudarshan Madabushi